Saturday, July 30, 2005


I know I don't post as much as I could, but it's pretty sad when my own dog has started a blog and is actually doing more with it than I do with mine.

What the hell?

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

I hate to use this word, but...

There is no other word that packs the punch this one does. These people go too far beyond assholes. I say this not to be sexual, but to state a true fact. The following people are cunts: Ann Coulter, Tucker Carlson, Billy Bush, Nancy Grace and Ryan Seacrest.

Friday, July 01, 2005

What to do with my life?

Be a surfer? Can't really swim.
Be a lifeguard? See above.
Be a teacher? Don't know shit about shit.
Be a priest? I like the theatricality of it and I think I could instill people with the Holy Ghost, but I don't like religions enough to bother.
Be a pimp? Too much work for ungrateful hoes.
Be a clown? Too much makeup and too many children.
Be a singer? Can't sing well enough.
Be an actor? I'd love too. Tell me more!
Be a writer? I never update this thing, how could I be expected to do for pay what I won't do for free? No wait, that's what money does - it inspires!
Be a dancer? Too fat and too old.
Be a paramedic? Too much blood and guts.
Be a game show host? Ryan Seacrest is a cunt! Bob Barber is the shit though.
Be Billy Idol? One is more than enough.
Be a panhandler? Too much working outdoors. Plus, the uniform is smelly.
Be a doctor? Too dumb (also, see Be a paramedic?)
Be a web designer? Too dumb and too lazy to learn how.
Be a sideshow barker? (see Be a priest?)

Just be? What a pussy denouement?