Tuesday, April 17, 2007

"Attention shoppers!"

Villains in the movies are often the most interesting characters. They act out a side of humanity that we wish didn't exist, but deep inside we know that we might just have a slice of that inside us. That's not only where our fear of these characters lies, but also where our fascination lies as well. These characters illuminate the darker side of ourselves while giving us full warning that, without a good conscience to guide us, we may fall victim to these dark desires.

Laugh if you must (and do so at your own peril!), but respect must now be given to one of the most underrated movie villains of all time!

Willy, King of the stockboys!

Bow down to the might that is Willy! He is always watching you!

Even the most deadly of screen villains must have style. Behold, the dapper use of a red-trimmed smoking jacket accented ever so adroitly with a smart, yet toney ascot.

*Note that the sign of an elegant villain is one with his name embroidered on his jacket!
Click the pic for a better look-see.

What? You think all of this is crazy? A villain wouldn't pay attention to such things? Willy, my friends, disagrees.

"I'm not crazy, I just don't give a fuck!"

When it comes to out and out creepy visual dazzle, Willy is the King! Whether it's in the light or in the shadows, Willy commands not only the respect of his victims, but of the audience as well.

All I ask, dear reader, is that you give Willy a chance to work his way into that cold, dark spot you keep in your soul for favorite movie villains. Hannibal schmannibal. He can have his fava beans and chianti. Willy has an even better line. (Check it out right after Samantha asks him what he wants.)

Check out Willy in all of his glory in Night of the Comet!

Monday, April 16, 2007

Heroes schmeroes.

Do I watch the tv show Heroes? Yes, but.....

Fuck Heroes!

"Save the cheerleader, save the world?"


Some cheerleaders can take care of their own damn selves...

And, some can't, but they look up to those that can and wish they could.

Sorry, Heroes, but...try as you might,you cannot fuck with
Night Of The Comet!

"See, this is the problem with these things. Daddy would've gotten us Uzi's."
- Kelli Maroney as Samantha Belmont

The Good, The Bad, The Prom.

So, the wife and I went to the prom this past Saturday. Yep, the prom. It was an "adult" prom held by a local radio station (and by "adult" it was far from something exciting like a fetish ball or the like, although it was co-sponsored by a local adults novelty/porn shop). The wife has wanted to go for the last couple of years, but she always seemed to be on call for her job. With call not being an issue anymore, we went full out for this thing. She bought a beautiful prom dress and I rented a dashing tuxedo (we forgot all about getting each other flowers, but eh, no big deal) and we were off to the races...well, ok, we were off to a local K of C at least.

I remember my proms very vividly. My proms were better than this prom in a couple of ways: decorations, importance, pictures. The decoration for this thing were a joke. At $25 per couple, I expected more than a balloon arch, two balloons per table and tons of signs for the radio station (odds are, geniuses, that if we knew about the prom, we know about your station. Don't try to convert the converted.) to be the decorations we'd see, but alas, I was wrong. The hall was smaller than any other prom I've attended, but it did eventually fill up nicely with people in the prom spirit. Thing is though that, while this was a nice time, this prom can't mean as much to me as the ones from high school. Those were more important not only because of my age at the time, but because they were such new and different experiences. The only time I'd worn a tux before my Junior Prom was for the wedding of my uncle Gary when I was...I dunno...3? To do it as a teenagers was more of an event than this was (and not just because the wife and I didn't head off to King's Island the next day.) As for the pictures they offered, well, the came out alright, but my head's too big for my body. Always has been. Even with the weight loss I look like Fatty Arbuckle. Granted, there's nothing the nice people taking the pictures could have done to fix my head, but the pictures themselves have changed. They were digital to start and were printed on the spot. They didn't cost $60 or $70 like the ones in high school (not that that's a bad thing), but they looked (quality-wise) like what we paid for them: 20 bucks. Too bright and they had a dumb border on them. The wife was very beautiful, so that's the only plus to the pix.

We got to the prom about a half an hour or so after it started. Of course there weren't many people dancing that early, but that might also have something to do with the music. In my younger days I enjoyed going to clubs and dancing. I don't know if I'm any good, but I enjoyed it all the same. I haven't been dancing in about 7 years or so and once the right music was played, I fell right back into it, but the music was a problem early on. When the wife decided it was time to shake it they were playing shit music. I have no idea how to nor desire to do any dancing to the Pussycat Dolls. I'm not a whore, I don't have clamydia and I don't own a stripper pole, so that was a bust for me (not that anyone at prom dancing to it would meet those characteristics, but the Pussycat Dolls sure do). The music/dancing situation started looking up for me when one of the two songs I was most surprised to hear started playing: "Da Butt" by EU. Fuck me! They played that at my Junior Prom! And the best thing about that then and now is that EU was never all that popular of a group, so for an Indianapolis event to play it just seemed odd, weird and fantastic. The music continued to get better (with a mis-step here and there) until it reached the pinnacle for me with the second most surprising song started playing: "Pussy Control" by The Artist Formerly Known As Prince (yes, I know he's Prince once more, but he wasn't on that album, so I'd use the moniker he used at the time, but it was symbol....oh, that Prince. What a trickster.) Overall the music was pretty good with a couple huge exceptions.

The prom was an event based around the radio station's morning drive-time guy. I've heard his show and while I hesitate to say it sucks, I will just say it's not my cup of water (tea blows!). He reminds me of high school DJs I've heard in town. He thinks/thought it's cool to talk over the music (about nothing of consequence), to talk about himself and to ask stupid questions of the prom goers (example: "has anyone here ever slept with a 17 year old? {stammerstammerbecauseitwasn'tfunny} I mean when you were in high school? Aha ha ha ha ha! Holy shit, you're a funny guy! Would you be my kid's Godfather?) Then there were the actual DJs for the event (who, I assumed, aren't radio staff since they worked for a DJ company) who thought it was the edge of coolness to take certain parts of songs and have them skip/repeat a couple of times ("W w w Wild Thing") so that it completely threw the whole groove of the song off. Nice job, douchebags! Hey, while you're at it, why dontcha play a couple more songs twice! Seriously, we were there for less than 3 hours and they played "September" by Earth, Wind & Fire and "Roni" by Bobby Brown (which, until just now, I always thought was called "Tenderoni") twice. Is there also a Payola problem in the prom/wedding DJ world?

In the end, it was a fun evening. My wife looked beautiful and I was a stud. Hell, I almost ended up Prom King (the guy who won was also named Tony). I tried not to let the couple of bad songs, craptactular wacky radio guy and lackluster decorations spoil my fun. And, I got to see two chicks totally making out on the dance floor. Lesbians! Ya gotta love 'em. Get a room, ladies!