Thursday, July 19, 2007

Me (A year-by-year assessment), pt. 2

First grade. (cont. from here)

This was the only time in my life that I did not attend a public school. Apparently the decision to send me to a Catholic school for first grade is one of conjecture since the word from my extended family was that the teacher who taught First grade at the public school 3 blocks away from my house may have been the reason that one of my uncles stutters. I dunno how you actually prove something like that though. I, obviously, lived within walking distance of the school I would attend for 2nd thru 6th grades. I could see that damn place from my house and yet I went a couple of miles away to St. Roch Catholic School for the first grade. I was not then nor have I ever become a Catholic, so I will freely admit that the fact that I went there puzzled the bejesus out of me (Ha! I made a funny!!!)

I remember going in for the meeting with the principal to enroll in the school. My main contribution to that meeting was making the comment that if I added milk to the "chocolate" colored pants i would have to wear, I could make...wait for it...chocolate milk! My wit, even , then...rapier sharp, my friends.

I started out the year with one teacher (Mrs. Hagen) and ended it with a different teacher (Mrs. Hazen) and I have no idea why. I stayed in the same room with the same kids, but our teacher changed and yet the last name stayed almost the same.

The school (or rather the education) was decent I guess. I mainly remember the following:

  • I had a friend there named Tony Baskerville and he was probably the first guy friend I had. He was bigger than I was (which isn't saying anything really because I was always a tiny little shit) and I mainly remember him because of something we called the Baskerville Express. I will now freely admit to being a pussy for the majority of my life. In first grade we had a small yard and some concrete for recess. There may have been a swing or two, but I do know that there was a slide. The slide. I loved and hated that thing. Going hand in hand with almost always being a pussy, I have always been scared of heights. Being a tiny little 5 or 6 year old meant that when I looked up at this gargantuan slide, I was terrified. Tony made the slide manageable because we would go down the slide together. He would be in front and I was in back and we went down the slide as if we were a train. (In my adulthood looking back, I find it hard not to place some sort of justifier here stating that the act was in no way homosexual, but believe me...it wasn't and my hang up at this moment has more to do with my age and experience with the world than it does with the actual experience) There was one day when we were on the slide that he somehow got away from me right from the start and being the pussy that I was, I made all of the kids behind me get off the ladder so that I could climb down from the slide. Indiana Jones I wasn't.
More later.

There are many things I do not know...

but I believe that somewhere, in this small piece of video, lie all the secrets of the Universe.